


Best Laid Plans (Better Days Remix)

by NicoleAnell



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-12
Updated: 2009-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-06 01:11:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoleAnell/pseuds/NicoleAnell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three stories about handcuffs and very bad timing. A remix of <a href="http://blue-crow.livejournal.com/257555.html">Flawless</a> by Blue Crow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Laid Plans (Better Days Remix)

**_[1 - Dualla] _**

"He's older than you," she said, if only to break the silence. He'd made the smart choice of taking off his shirt and shoes from the start, to minimize the time and effort this would take. She twirled the handcuffs in her hand and thought of all the ways this could be misinterpreted if someone saw them right now - granted, none were quite as naughty or strange as the truth.

"A little older," Felix agreed. "Not like there're a lot of options, though."

Dualla scoffed. "Well, _that's_ romantic." He was sliding into position on the bed, stretching his arms back in a way that didn't look completely comfortable but _did_ look like something out of a porno.

"I like him," he said seriously. "He likes me, I can tell that. We've just had trouble... getting to the good part." He might've been poised to say more, but a sudden look of guilt and gratitude crossed his face as she fastened his wrists to the bed, securing the cuffs with a tiny click. "Look, Dee, you don't know how much I-"

"Stop it." She plopped the keys onto the dresser like he'd asked, flashing him a perfectly casual look of, _This isn't weird if we don't make it weird_.

"I don't know how to thank you," he said.

"Oh," she mused, hiding a smile. "I guess just treat me as a goddess. Part the way if I'm coming down the hall. Say things like 'Thank you, Dee, for your utterly selfless efforts to get me laid. You've saved my life.'"

"You've saved my life, Dee," he repeated.

She hesitated by the dresser for a moment - Dr. Baltar had a _nice_ room, she had to give him that - and then returned to take care of Felix's already half-opened pants. Probably sensing her awkwardness, he spoke up again. "So, you and Billy really ought to try this sometime."

"Yeah, right?" she laughed. "I'm scared he'd only want to cuddle."

"Maybe you and Apollo, then - _careful_." He winced as she gave his pants an extra-hard tug, catching his ankle on the belt.

"You don't miss anything, do you? It's not cute." She tore off his boxers with another rough yank, but then tossed a pillow over him for modesty's sake, determined not to ogle one bit.

He glanced down at the pillow and cracked a smile. "We take showers together, you know."

"Not in the same stall."

"Right. Nice to know where our boundaries are." He wasn't halfway through the sentence before they both cracked up.

"Just don't start judging my love life. I'm not the one getting kinky with some middle-aged guy and his terrible hair."

"He's _38_. Will you blindfold me and get the frak out?" She obliged with a snicker, wrapping a makeshift bandage around his eyes like he was some battlefield victim. His voice went quieter. "Should there be candles, do you think? I didn't know if that was going too far."

Dualla emphatically shook her head. "Tied up alone in a room with _fire?_ Not a good idea."

"Right."

"Need anything else?"

"No, just - well, you need to move the pillow."

"I know that." There was maybe, just at this moment, a _little_ ogling. "And, um, what should I do with your clothes?"

"Just fold 'em and leave them in the corner?" he suggested, and she couldn't help smiling again. Of course, she thought, Felix would make sure they were folded.

\-----------------

It wasn't perfect, but it was the best scheme they could come up with. The not middle-aged guy in question, Lt. Hoshi, would be relieved from his duties and drop by. All Dee had left to do was welcome him to Galactica with a "change in plans" on the way to her own graveyard shift.

"Dr. Baltar's lab?" Hoshi looked understandably thrown, and barely even managed to duck out of the way as half-drunk crew members barreled past them. Every hallway on the ship had a giddy, relaxed air; the pride of the reportedly _huge_ Cylon target just destroyed wasn't wearing off any time soon. "Why would he want to see me?"

"I just heard your services were needed over there. Badly needed. I'd even check out his quarters if he's not in the lab, if he's not there yet."

 

She'd expected Hoshi to show more resistance; here he thought he was being given extra work, on a ship that wasn't even his! But instead he looked surprisingly committed and prepared, like someone used to being told when to jump. All he said was, "I need a minute in the head. Let him know I'll be right over." In a more human afterthought, he began to say, "If you see Felix…" but at that moment, Dualla felt herself jostled by another crowd of victorious pilots. And at the very next moment, turning to complain or laugh with them (she hadn't decided), she came face to face with Dr. Baltar.

"You're supposed to be on the Pegasus," she blurted.

Baltar flinched at what had come out way too much like an accusation. "Don't be ridiculous, no," he said with an oddly anxious smile. "No, I've just come from Colonial One actually."

"Wasn't he meeting-?" Hoshi started to ask, and Dee cut him off right there.

"Head! You said you needed a minute. Why don't - you go on ahead? I'll..." she gestured vaguely. _Calm down_, her inner voice ordered. This could still be fixed, she just couldn't handle multiple excuses at once.

Hoshi marched off with an inconspicuous, "I won't take long." She prayed quickly to the gods that the doc hadn't caught on to anything, and was relieved to see he was still caught up in a one-man celebration of the sound of his own voice. "I've barely been on the Pegasus all day," he was saying. "I'm forgetting what it looks like, really. Did you, uh, did you want something? Who was that?"

"Uh," said Dualla. "No one, he just… he thought maybe he'd assist you whenever Lt. Gaeta is unavailable."

"Another one?" Baltar moaned, not even bothering to feign enthusiasm. "Fantastic. Well, I hope he won't mind me seeing him tomorrow. I'd prefer nothing more than some sleep right now."

"Oh, but the fire hazard!" It was the first thing in her head, and she rolled with it. "You know, everyone's been so excited about what happened out there, throwing parties and… right on C deck where you're staying, I- I think they've blocked off the entire-"

"Well, they'll let _me_ through," he insisted, not a little ego-bruised. "I'm Vice President of the Colonies and I _live_ there."

"Wait!" she pleaded, almost grabbing his arm - there had to be something outside of choking him with a phone cord to keep this from happening - but a voice called her back.

"Petty Officer." The XO, _of all the frakking_ \- "is there something keeping you from reporting to your job?"

Baltar had completely left her peripheral vision by now. Dualla instantly arched her back and lowered her voice. "No, sir."

"After you, then." She couldn't decide, or really care, if he was enjoying this, but as soon as they'd gone inside, Tigh did take the opportunity to growl at the CIC at large. "One good boot up the Cylons' chrome-plated asses does NOT mean we abandon our posts, is that clear?!"

Dee slunk into her chair and tried to focus on things like duty and wireless frequencies, and not on the many ways she was sure she'd failed at this goddess of friendship thing.

 

**_ [2 - Hoshi] _**

Louis swallowed his disappointment and decided this could be for the best. Come to Galactica for some recreation, only to be shooed off to do… he still wasn't sure what, but it wouldn't be the first time he was mistaken for someone who knew a damn thing about physical sciences.

Less than 48 hours ago, he could've been the one to launch nukes at this ship, Lt. Gaeta and everyone else inside it. His hand would've been on that button, if it came to that. So maybe this wasn't the kind of relationship you run into headfirst.

And besides that, it'd been so long since he experienced someone _flirting_ with him, he was almost afraid of misinterpreting things. Even tonight, he wasn't sure where he thought their date would've gone. He barely knew this person yet, and he was set on taking this slow, even if it killed him.

Which was not a memo his body seemed to be getting right now, as he slipped into a bathroom stall and unzipped his fly. Getting aroused at a mental picture of Felix Gaeta had become pathetically easy, his brain latching onto some specific detail and all rational logic flying away. Like that cheesy fleet documentary/hash job. (They'd sat around the mess hall and watched it by now, some openly laughing and pretending not to be moved by the patriotic turn at the end. He saw the clear and silent disapproval on Cain's face through most of it, until she actually looked bored by her own disgust.) It was the film that introduced Louis to Felix's now semi-famous tattoo. He wondered if he had others, and how long before he could trace it with his fingers in the dark.

He began stroking himself in earnest, a vivid image of that chest in his mind, smothering his thoughts. He could see them doing this in a small junior officers' bed, the cramped, fumbling space only driving them closer and more desperate. He wanted Felix to pin him down into the sheets, to run his straight white teeth over his neck. They would have oils for this, something for Felix to prepare the way with his fingers. Felix would press tentatively against his opening for just a moment, the anticipation making Louis hold his breath and reach for his hand, and then he would be inside, his slick cock sliding perfectly in and out. His own member throbbed with excitement as he pictured Felix taking him this way, finding each nerve of pain and pleasure deep inside his body. Felix would nuzzle his neck and reach forward, and Louis would guide his hand in the way he liked to be touched. Once he found the rhythm against his own, Felix would stroke and tease him, deny him satisfaction until just the brush of his hand was enough to make him cry out. Felix always came first, his grip suddenly, briefly too tight as he spilled out onto Louis' back and between his legs, and this would almost be enough to send him over the edge. He would feel Felix's body turn soft and heavy, but even then he would not falter in his duty to get him off as well.

Louis steadied himself on the bathroom wall as he came, biting back a moan for fear of being caught. Toilet tissues. That deeply unsexy thought snapped him right the hell back to reality, and _that_ out of the way, he'd at least be able to concentrate on C deck now.

He left the head guilty and exhilarated, a feeling he hadn't quite recovered from when he reached the door to Baltar's quarters and found himself staring at… all sorts of things. Felix's semi-famous tattoo was suddenly the least interesting of them.

"Oh," he yelped, already backing out of the room again. "I- I'm sorry, Felix. Dr. Baltar… I didn't know."

He fled.

\-----------------

"I thought it was you in there!" Felix caught up with him several hallways down, his uniform still loose and unbuttoned.

Louis lifted his hands apologetically, still more shaken than even he realized. "I… you didn't have to run after me. You know, you could've finished - were you finished?" He caught his babbling a second too late, and rushed on before Felix could answer. "Not - that's not what I meant to say. Pretend I didn't say it, please."

"I had my eyes closed, and a blindfold on, and I thought it was you," Felix said again, looking seriously into his eyes. Louis nodded, even though the words didn't completely sink in. "I swear to gods."

"So you really meant for…?" A wave of relief hit him at once, and was instantly replaced with concern and anger. It seemed like some kind of violation at least. "He just let you think that? Are you _okay?_" But Felix just looked surprised by the question, as if it hadn't occurred to him to find it all that disturbing. More embarrassed and pissed than anything else.

"I'm fine," he was saying. "It's my fault for... well, I think it's actually Dee's fault. But it's fine."

Hoshi struggled to parse all this information. "So, were you and the doctor...?"

"_No._ Gods, no, I... I don't even know what he was- I mean, I never thought he was interested-"

Hoshi nodded, the pieces coming together. "So you were interested."

"No!" It was a weird circumstance to learn just how cute a flustered Lt. Gaeta was. "Listen, I know this is asking a lot, but could we just erase this and start over?"

"I need to ask something else. It's not about Baltar."

"I'd be amazed if you didn't."

"Why did you think I wanted you like that?" He immediately realized that could be taken the wrong way, but the skeptical look on Felix's face assured him they'd blown past that already. He quickly added, "I don't mean… uh, that- that part was on target.

"That's good to know."

"But the rest of it, the chains and all that. I didn't think you were so..." he shook his head dumbly. "It was a little extreme."

"I just thought it would clarify things."

"I'm not sure I could give you..." and he trailed off again. Whatever he was into. In the distance from what he'd seen in there and his instinct to run from it, he knew it was more than Baltar that scared him off. It was too much, seeing Felix vulnerable like that. It stirred something else he'd seen and didn't want to touch. "You don't want me to hurt you, right?"

Felix's warm eyes softened, like he understood there was more happening here than he knew. "I wanted you to do whatever you like with me," he said gently. "I wanted that."

And just like that, Louis' mouth had latched onto Felix's. Their first, after all this. He felt the other man take control an instant later, exploring his tongue and pressing a firm hand on his collar. Taking it slow was just about the stupidest thing he'd done.

"I've still got the whole night free," he whispered.

"You think I'd plan this when you didn't have the whole night free?" Felix smiled. He had actual frakking dimples. "Let's go drink."

"You're not tired?" he asked a little playfully.

Felix laughed. "Shut up."

Kissed him again. It was a wonder they could even hear when the high, jarring tone of ship-wide announcement cut into the moment, followed by a stern voice. "_All hands. Pegasus personnel report to Hangar Deck 7._" Rather than loosening, Hoshi's grip on Felix's waist grew instinctively tighter, protective. "Just don't tell me we're having a war again," Felix sighed. "I'd hate to be committing treason here."

"You're not dressed for it," Louis agreed.

Some marines he barely knew were coming down their path, which finally got him to step away awkwardly and straighten up. He meant to politely demand an explanation, maybe he'd even started, but another soldier beat him to the question. A pair of wide, disbelieving eyes over a hard-set jaw. One of them said, "Cain's dead."

He didn't feel any clear emotion from this; it mostly seemed impossible.

He knew the same marine was saying, "Cylon bitch got out of its cage." He might've added more before leaving, but Hoshi was too busy remembering where the ground was and that his feet were still on it. He'd felt this rush of fear and electricity so many times in the last seven months, everything else was like paper, toilet tissue, thin reminders of another life. He surely said something to Felix, a mumbled apology before hurrying off, but later he would not even recall whether he looked into the boy's eyes. They must have been worried and understanding, he imagined. They must have been beautiful.

 

**_ [3 - Gaeta] _**

In hindsight, having sex with Hoshi was nothing like he'd expected it to be, which should've tipped him off that he _still hadn't_. His technique - and this wasn't really a complaint - was weirdly inexperienced and commanding at the same time. That much made sense when it was over, and he was still in the dark with a (completely justified) rage to fly into.

Gaeta realized this night had veered ridiculously off-track somewhere between furiously demanding that Baltar un-blindfold him and the mess of horrible timing that happened outside, and a part of him was convinced it was his own fault. His head was spinning with all kinds of conflicting thoughts - concern for Hoshi, the safety of the fleet, the guilt of his own petty needs almost making him forget what they were really doing out here in the boondocks of space. With all that, it honestly didn't hit him until he was halfway back to his own room that he'd left Baltar somewhere else entirely, in a spontaneous moment of vengeance.

When he returned to the doctor's quarters, he saw him twisted bizarrely in the sheets, like he'd made a half-assed attempt to escape and already given up. "What happened to that fellow, your friend?" he asked. Trying to figure out if it was a short frak or a long goodbye.

"Cain's dead," Gaeta said bluntly. "Oh, and your prisoner's loose, so I hope you were nice to her."

"My gods," Baltar exclaimed. "The admiral's been killed and- and here I've been trussed up in this room for hours!"

Felix rubbed his forehead, fighting a migraine. "You've been there six minutes, Gaius."

"Well, nevertheless, it's tragic I wasn't there to help. Or perhaps lucky for me, in some sense."

Lucky. This perfectly planned evening had been screwed over, _twice_ now, and he could only blame Baltar for part of it, unfortunately. He felt cursed. "This was your lucky night all around," he said sharply without meeting his eyes. "I wish we could trade."

"My leg is cramping, Mr. Gaeta."

Felix absently reached down and massaged the leg in question, easing it into a less uncomfortable position. It seemed like a naturally helpful and humane thing to do without having to uncuff him. He wasn't sure of a lot right now, except that he wasn't ready to release his own current prisoner just yet.

"Oh, thank you," muttered Baltar, rolling his eyes. "That's just what I was looking for." But the way his thigh muscles relaxed and shifted under Felix's hand suggested he was only being half-sarcastic. "I don't suppose you've forgiven me for my honest mistake yet. You see, speaking from general experience, when someone's gotten themselves stark naked and waiting _in your bed_, it's usually not quite this ambiguous. It's certainly not my fault for getting the wrong idea. I'd say we're about even in taking certain liberties here."

It had gone from _almost_ an apology to self-justification in less than ten seconds, but Felix had to admit he had a point. If none of these diversions had happened, he could've been thrown off Baltar's projects in a heartbeat for misusing his personal space like this. Baltar seemed to read his mind as he continued, "To that point, I'm sure it wasn't part of your job description to use my quarters on this ship as your personal love nest. At least not while I'm gone. It's unprofessional."

Gaeta blinked in amusement. "Are you- sorry, are you firing me?"

"I'm giving you a stern warning, because I value you so immensely as a friend and an assistant -"

"You're _tied to a bed._"

Baltar looked poised to go into a conniption at this - maybe even break out his vice presidential title - but he bit his tongue instead. He wasn't in a position to condescend right now. "Felix," he said. The second time tonight he'd used his first name. "What is it you want me to say?"

Gaeta hadn't thought this far ahead, and it probably showed. He realized he hadn't moved his hand from Baltar's leg in minutes. Just then something flickered in the man's eyes - not fear, not completely - and Gaeta knew before he looked down that he'd gotten hard. That he was enjoying this. Gaeta cleared his throat. "Say we're even."

"Aren't we?" Baltar said uncertainly. "I think I've already told you-"

"Not yet," he said in a clipped, steady voice not entirely his own. His hand slowly traveled up Baltar's inner thigh now, achingly close and mischievous. "Say it when we are."

His mentor jolted to attention and pulled his wrists against his restraints slightly, struggling to keep an even tone in his voice. "Don't mind it," he said in a rush, regarding his impressive hard-on. "It's- it's actually a funny situation. It's been a surprisingly long time since I've-" Felix made contact, just barely, through his trousers, and Gaius yelped, terrified and eager and conflicted. "Please, wait."

 

Gaeta found his way into his pants and all protests stopped. He worked him from base to tip, and saw Gaius lean his head back and breathe a weird mix of every religion. _God,_ he said. _Gods, god._ Felix slid his pants down past his knees to get a fuller view, while Gaius moaned in greedy desperation, the source of friction momentarily gone. Felix wasn't sure if he was punishing him or returning a favor. Probably both. When he lowered his mouth to him, Gaius twitched and thrust upward, and Felix had to forcibly hold his hips down to avoid injuring himself. It didn't hit him until that moment that Baltar had called him his friend.

It's what he called Hoshi.

Even in this state, Felix's brain was working too hard, his guilt seeping in. He would have to end it with him, Louis, before it even started. He wouldn't call himself a boyfriend and do things like this. There'd be some other time for him. His decision-making may have been hazy at best right now, but he knew he wouldn't regret this, and that was reason enough to let the other man go.

Almost as instantly, he felt the weight of his actions lifted again. Baltar was right about one thing; he'd been waiting in his bed. It wasn't just timing or access or the larger space; he wanted it to be there. He wanted this on some level all along, and his plan had gone flawlessly.

He was lost in that thought and barely prepared for it when Gaius came hard into his throat. He regained his composure and swallowed most of it, determined to make this all into _somewhat_ less of a mess. He sat down on the edge of his bed. Gaius had gone lethargic and sated, chuckling softly, and Felix couldn't help shaking with laugher and disbelief, too.

"I'll get that key," he announced finally, remembering himself.

"Yes, would you mind?"

He calmly retrieved the object from his own pocket. The first thing Baltar did when he regained command of his arms and hands was find a cigarillo case and lighter in his bedside drawer; one for himself and one offered to his company. Felix took a drag from the cigarette, suppressing the urge to cough; he was getting better at this all around.

He spoke to break the silence. He said, "I'm not really used to... not knowing what I'm doing." He was dangerously honest, and he had more in his head he wouldn't say. That it always seemed to happen around Gaius Baltar. That he saw their future stretching out a thousand different ways, none of them bad or unwanted.

"You don't want to tell anyone about this, do you?" Baltar asked carefully.

"I doubt you're gonna shout about it in your next press conference, Mr. Vice President."

"I'm serious." Gaius was studying him with a caring half-smile. "I'm willing to say I barely left my lab today, should anyone ask. I expect you dropped in for a while, but ended up somewhere else." Gaeta felt a new surge of affection for Baltar, for the generosity in his tone.

"Right," he said. "So we _are_ even, and we've got a story?" A secret.

Something in Gaius had relaxed and the charm had returned more easily to his smile. "That will be handy once I stand up again. I suppose it'll be soon."

Gaeta was fine with this.


End file.
